Staying Right Here

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Lyrics from 'Right Here' by Staind

Although these lyrics are not from a christian band (not everything i listen to is!!), the words seemed to really ring true, in a situation that is dealing with GOD. because GOD always will be there...whether I'm there with him or not.

But I will be there. Because that is my commitment. Like the song says,
I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

That is so true. And I'm still with GOD because he always finds the words to say...whether through people, music, his word, anything...he always finds the words to say that I need to hear. And I know that these special words or gestures of encouragement will never stop. He will never forsake us.

We can trust his faithfulness...

Why Do I Hide This?

GOD, WHY DO I HIDE THE FACT THAT I BELIEVE IN YOU? I MEAN, I KNOW THAT IF IT CAME TO IT, TO A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION ABOUT BELIEVING IN YOU, I WOULD SAY THAT I BELIEVED IN YOU, BECAUSE I DO. BUT WHY DO I HAVE TROUBLE TALKING ABOUT YOU, BEING TRUE TO YOU, IN EVERYDAY LIFE? WITH MY FRIENDS...THEY ARE PROBABLY THE ONES THAT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT YOU THE MOST. CUZ SO MANY OF THEM ARE QUESTIONING YOU, AND THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT I BELIEVE, AND THAT I CAN HELP THEM ON THEIR SPIRITUAL JOURNEY. I HAVE NOT BEEN THE CHRISTIAN EXAMPLE THAT YOU WANT GOD. I'M SORRY. HELP ME TO BE WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE, TO STAND UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN, AND TO NOT LET YOU TAKE THE BACKSEAT. CUZ YOU SHOULD BE IN THE FRONT SEAT, HELPING ME DRIVE.

Change

Why do people change? Is it something that they can control, or that they can't? Maybe it's some of both...

That's what I think. That it's some of both. Like some things about change you have no control over, but some things you have total control over.

But everyone changes. Sometimes you just have to accept the change.

But what if you change, and everyone liked the "old you" better? It's not always possible to go back...

Change is natural. Change can be good, bad, or both. Change is necessary. Change is hard. Change is exciting. Change is scary. Change is dangerous. Change worries people. Change changes people.

And sometimes people don't like the changes.

Can you move backwards after moving forwards? Is it worth it to do that?

How much change is too much?

Keep My Friends in Your Arms, GOD

What is it about this month? Why are people so messed up? But really, it's not the people...just what they do...or how they act...or just what is going on in their lives...

I'm glad though that most of my friends trust me so much, enough to tell me almost all their problems. And I don't want them to tell me so that I can keep up with the latest gossip. I just want them to feel that they can trust me, and I want them to know that I will always be here for them.

But at the same time, I'm so freakin scared that someone will lose it and they will jump off the edge of the cliff with nothing to hold on to...


GOD, YOU KNOW EVERYONE'S THOUGHTS. YOU KNOW THE THINGS THAT THEY AREN'T TELLING ME OR ANYONE ELSE. WHETHER THEY KNOW YOU KNOW OR NOT, YOU STILL KNOW. KEEP ALL MY FRIENDS SAFE. LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE...AND LET THEM KNOW THAT I AM HERE TO BE AN EAR TO LISTEN, AND THAT I WILL DO ANYTHING THEY ASK TO HELP THEM...I JUST WANT THE BEST FOR THEM GOD. PLEASE KEEP THEM SAFE. FOR THEIR SAKE AND MINE. OH GOD, I BEG YOU, KEEP THEM SAFE...BRING THEM UP FROM THEIR DOWNS. CUZ EVEN WHEN YOU SEEM TO BE THE FARTHEST AWAY, THAT'S REALLY WHEN YOU ARE THE CLOSEST. YOU JUST WANT TO CARRY US OUT OF THE DARK PLACES, YOU WANT US TO WANT YOU. YOU WANT US TO GROW CLOSER TO YOU. DON'T LET US EVER GET AWAY.

The Mask

Why do I mask what I feel?

Why do I try to please people by showing them what they want to see?

Why do I try to make people think my life is perfect?

Why do I mask my true feelings, but have no problem asking for help?

Why do I let some people in, but not others?

Why do I wear a mask?

Why?

Why does life always seem so confusing? It always seems that, as soon as I have one problem under my belt, along comes another one.

I mean, lately I have just felt so annoyed--not really with my friends, 'cause they are they greatest. But I feel annoyed, with my parents, with my siblings. And they aren't really doing anything wrong--they just bug me!!

Is this normal? Is it normal for me to feel so annoyed? Or am I just blaming everything on them and giving them a hard time?

It just seems that everything they do just hits a button. And it's stuff that I never thought would have annoyed me before. Everything just seems to be bugging me these days.

A good friend of mine lately told me that I haven't been laughing as much lately, and that he was worried about me.


It's kinda strange, 'cause I always used to be the one to be giggling up a storm, I always found something funny, and I always brought the dark situations light again.

Or so my friend tells me.

But it's a friend that I trust, and I believe what he's saying. Because I know that a lot of it is true. I haven't laughed a lot lately. And I don't know why. I think I just need to let go and relax a bit. Yeah. Maybe that's my problem. I'm just too uptight.

Wow this post helped me help myself a bit.

And I'm just gonna leave it at that before I get even more confused.

Remind Me

I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

I don't know if these clouds mean rain
If they do, will they pour down blessing or pain?
I don't know what the future holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness

I don't know how or when I'll die
Will it be a thief, or will I have a chance to say goodbye?
No, I don't know how much time is left
But in the end, I will know your faithfulness

When darkness overwhelms my soul
When thoughts and storms of doubt
Still I trust You are always faithful, always faithful

Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness

I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness

'Your Faithfullness' by Brian Doerksen

GOD, REMIND ME ALWAYS OF YOUR FAITHFULLNESS. YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE, THROUGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD. ALTHOUGH IT SOMETIMES SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE ONLY THERE WHEN MY LIFE IS GOING DOWNHILL, YOU ARE THERE ALWAYS. REMIND ME OF THAT. I KNOW THAT I OFTEN FORGET YOU, THEN AS SOON AS SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, I COME RUNNING BACK. DON'T LET ME LEAVE. I NEED TO BE WITH YOU CONSTANTLY. REMIND ME. THANK YOU FOR BEING FAITHFUL. YOU WILL NEVER GIVE ME MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE, YOU HAVE PROMISED ME THAT. PLEASE KEEP REMINDING ME OF YOUR FAITHFULLNESS, SO THAT IN THE SMALLEST OR BIGGEST TEST, I WILL HAVE THE COURAGE AND STRENGTH TO STAY WITH YOU.
REMIND ME.

A Plea Sent to Heaven

GOD, PLEASE BE WITH MY FRIENDS. YOU KNOW SPECIFICALLY WHICH ONES I MEAN. THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM STRUGGLING WITH LIFE--WITH BOYS/GIRLS, WITH PARENTS, WITH FRIENDS, WTH THEMSELVES, WITH YOU...

HELP THEM TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE. AND PLEASE USE ME IN YOUR WILL TO REACH OUT TO THEM, AND TO HELP THEM IN EVERY WAY THAT I CAN.

USE ME AS YOUR MESSENGER TO HELP THEM GET OVER DEPRESSION, SADNESS, ANGER, BROKEN HEARTS, OR BROKEN TRUST.

LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY CAN TRUST IN YOU AND MYSELF.

USE ME TO SPEAK YOUR LOVE TO THEM.

Where Is Home?

Home. A word that people use every day. But where is home?

Is home a place where you sleep at night, where you eat and quarrel and cry with your family?

Is home a place where you go just to have a roof over your head?

Is home a place where you say your prayers and lay your head at night, hoping that it will all be better in the morning?

Is home a place where you thank God for all the good things that he has given you?

Is home a place where you question and mull over everything in the world and life?

Is home simply a frame of mind, a place where you have a sense of security. Where you are free to think what you want, to believe what you want, and to feel what you want?

Is home all of the above and more?

Is home different for every person?

If home is a state of mind, can there be more than one person in the same house?

Can we let people in?

How much does it take for us to trust someone enough to let them into our home?

...Where is home...