View [photo]

this is our view from the balcony of our condo...the ocean is to the left.

To the Wise and Great One...

aka STEPH! haha that is her nickname! anyways. i asked her what i should blog about, and she said her...so i said ok! and i think she thinks that i am going to come on here and say some crazy stuff about her and stuff...but i'm not! i'm actually gonna say nice stuff...and compliment her...and all that fun stuff. because i can. and because she is getting baptized on sunday, and i'm not allowed to go up on stage and start spouting off steph's amazing traits. so i'll do it here.

STEPHANIE [INSERT MIDDLE NAME HERE] DOERKSEN
hey be happy i left out your middle name haha

S is for stubborn
T is for trouble
E is for empathetic
P is for poise
H is for horses
A is for academic
N is for noisy
I is for incredibly
E is for eating

there you go...steph in a nutshell...haha not really. those are just some things i came up with spur of the moment. some awesome traits, some traits that are good and just her, some funny things...hence horses!

steph you continue to amaze me...you have no idea how proud of you for deciding to get baptized! but i am proud of you no matter what (as long as you don't murder somebody) and you continue to amaze me. you are a beautiful girl, both inside and out. and sweetie, your love for God really does shine through. you've gone through a lot of stuff in the last few years, maybe you don't even know all of what i have seen. but even through it all you are poised and together. thanks for all the great times and insiders (1 2 3 4 5 6 7...she spits, she snores, and she can't count!) and for all the times you have encouraged me and pushed me in my own journey. thanks for always being there with a listening ear, a sympathetic heart, and open arms. thanks for the shoulder to cry on and the contagious smile. thanks for always being there for me through the good and the bad. i hope i have always been there for you. friends forever...there's no way you're getting rid of me after all we've been through! happy belated sweet 16, and early congrats for baptism. you'll do fine, don't be nervous. trust God. praying for you always, and as much ♥ as i can give.

Stupid Maui Time

well well well...here i sit...at whatever time it is...feeling wide awake...because my body i on stupid maui time, which is four hours behind saskatoon time. i didn't think i was going to be this hard to get back into saskatoon time. but it is!! and it sucks. i hate it. because the rest of the world is sleeping, and i am wide wide awake, with nothing to do, because i lost my glasses in the ocean, and took ou tmy contacts. so i apologize for any spelling mistakes there might be in this post because i really can't see what i am typing. thank goodness for touch typing i guess. but poor you people who are reading this. i'm kinda frustrated because i typed out a post about my maui trip, and now i can't find it! i e-mailed it o my blog, and it has not shown up...grr. not that there was anything super super exciting about my trip or anything, but there was information in it, and i really don't feel like typing it up agan! so right now here goes nothing. it's just going to be a long rant and rave of me talking when i am extremely bored. and can't see. speaking of being blind, i would just like to say that i totally don't take sight for granted anymore. even though i have been visually impaired or a long time i always took it for granted that i had glasses, and then contacts as well. but now that i don't have glasses, and am very visually impaired when i take out my contacts...i get a whole new appreciation for the fact that i can see when i have glasses or contacts. definately am thanking god for the people who invented glasses and contacts. and for the fed ex people who delivered me my contacts in maui. because if i would have lost my glasses and not had contacts...well that would have sucked because i would have had to somehow get contacts or glasses. and that's just a pain when you're on a holiday. woulda had to pay for a lot more. as it was, having my contacts shipped to me cost me about forty five dollars. out of my own pocket, my parents made me pay for that. but it's a good thing i got them, i sure needed them! it would have been a pain to be without them, espeically for snorkeling and stuff liket that. so anyways.. what else can katelynn talk about. how about...hmmm. i don't really know i really don't. that's go to be a first...katelynn not knowing what to talk about. i'm stumped. completely and utterly stumped. i don't know what i want to say. except that i'm not tired yet, so i better keep typing! wow i'm typing kind of loud, ihope nobody in my house wakes up and gets mad at me for being n the computer...but hey! i tried to fall asleep for two stinkin hours!! and then i just gave up. whatever. too bad, i'll be tired tomorrow. i was tired of tossing and turning...and imagining myself in my dress. heeh that picture is in my mind!! i'm sorry but i just love that dress so much. probably too much.this can't be healthy. wow i feel like i am making a lot of spelling mistakes...sorry sorry sorry! but i am too lazy to squint at the screen and correct them all.it's too difficult. soo...i can see an orange highlighter. that's cool. and i see orange out the window, from the street lights. i wish someone would randomly wake up and start e-mailing me...but good luck to that. and id on't really wish on anyone that they wake up and can't sleep. because that's mean, and it sucks to not be able to sleep. i should know. it's happening right now!!!! sooo...i hae all m classes picked for next year. let's see if i can figure out all the ones i'm taking. tehre's englihs and biology and chemistry and physics and band and sped and history and psychoclogy and math a and b thirty annnd....how many is that? i don't know, i can't see!! well i think that's all of them. oh wiat, accounting online again. so yeah. i don't think i have any spares, i believe i'm taking eleven classes again next year. and in a way i kind of want to take a spare...but might as well get a bunch of classes out of the way. and just get them done. and get as many classes as i can. but the funny thing is is that after my grade eleven year, if i pass all my classes, which i'm sure i will, then i will twenty two credits. yeah. that's right. i will only need two more to graduate. funny, eh??? ahh well. then in grade twelve maybe i can just take a whole bunch of fun classes and make my year really slack. that would be kind of neat i guess. oh and next year my sister will be at muy school, becaus eshe is graduating from grade eight this year. i twill be kind of wierd to have my younger sister at my school again, especiallky now that it's high school. and yes, that does make a difference. idunno, everything will be different. but i think it will be alrite, we actually get along really well now. ok i'm really bored, but it's time for me to do something else. i've moved on now. and plus i can't think of anything else to say. so goodnight! we hope.

MEXICO, BABY!

ok that's a bit extreme...i've never said anythign like that before. but i'm so excited! mike called like 2 minutes ago...and i'm going to mexico! so far i only know of two other people going...and i'm so excited!!! mike said more nice stuff to me...about how the team is 100% sure that God wants me on this trip, and that they never really had any questions about me or my integrity or anything! i'm so excited! THANK YOU GOD!!!

on another note, tomorrow morning i am off for maui!! wow life is good right now.

Dating in Our Hearts?

ok well here is a question that mike asked keith, and robyn asked me:

even though you guys aren't technically dating, are you dating in your hearts?

keith and i both said yes...and we've kind of talked about it. i want to go deeper with him in this conversation, just to talk about it with him more. but we have talked about it a bit...and i've been thinking about it. because it's kinda making me curious.

we both answered yes to the question, by the way. and when you think about it, it does make sense. because we aren't technically dating...but in a way we act like it. we're together a lot...which is mostly just because we are very close friends, and have a good time together. we like to spend time together--nothing wrong with that, right? we also have a lot of mutual friends, so er go, we spend time together. and of course we like each other, which just says let's spend more time together.

i think part of it is that we broke up because my parents wanted us to. yes it was my choice, and i have my reasons (which i'm not going to dive into here). but the basis of it was because of my parents not approving. but, as he says, it's a "continuation" in a way...because in a way we're still together...not technically dating. but in a way aren't we, kind of? obviously without the physical aspect of most dating relationships, but that's ok, because in the last few months, we have gotten to be really close friends.

in a way i think part of the reason why we sorta act like a couple is because that's the role we are put into by people. there's no mistake in saying that everybody knows that we like each other...everybody knows. it's no secret. and i think that sometimes people just kind of put us into the couple mold, even though we're not dating. generally assuming that if you invite one of us, you invite the other. they talk to us together. they see us together. a lot of people call him my boyfriend.

and i'm not judging people for that or anything, don't get me wrong. i don't even know if i think it's a bad thing or a good thing or a neutral thing. it's just something that i've noticed. people treat us like a couple. that's how it is.

but i'm still wondering if it's wrong...in a way...wow i think i'm overthinking again...so much confusion going on in my head right now.

Overthinking by Relient K

i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to analayze
look in my eyes
cause you're my dream please come true

i was thinking
over thinking
about exactly how i'm not exactly him
i'll break my heart in two
more times than you could ever do
cause you're my dream please come true

cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind

i can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done before
and if there's one in this world,
you let me know you're not that girl

i was sinking
lower, sinking
cause i lost the things i held on to
they let me think a thought
a thought that i would know was not
of seeing my dream come true

i was thinking
over thinking
about how far i had let this go
one more guy/girl chiché
i know now you're just in the way
of me and my dream come true

cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i'm trying to make sense
out of all of this
while your fading scent
just slips through my grip

i can't deny this anymore, the facts ignored all done before
and if there's one in this world,
you let me know you're not that girl

don't touch the positive with the negative end
don't touch the positive with the negative end
cause after all of the sparks you're still alone in the dark
cause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the dark

and while i'm able, i think i'll label
experience with you as a mistake
and while i'm at it, i'll say i've had it
experience with you is a mistake

cause i think way too much
on a one track mind
and you're so out of touch
cause i'm so far behind
i'm trying to make sense
out of all of this
while your fading scent
just slips through my grip

i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to think about
to figure out
if you're my dream please come true

Incredibly Indescribable

the. retreat. was. amazing.

can i describe it better than that? if you were there...it was incredible. it's so hard to explain all of what happened. and i was going to try...but i think that i won't. i don't know how, and even if i could find words...the words would not be able to do it justice. so sorry, but this is one of those memories that will have to stay in my head. i can say, however, that some people talked to me and payed me compliments and other stuff like that. so that i will put here. because i was oh-so-blessed by what these people said to me...it was incredible!

graham--> you are beautiful. there is so much potential in you. keep going. you're like a flower. never let a guy get closer than GOD, because the guy is not worth it. be careful in life.

anthony--> you are GOD's girl. guard your heart. promise me that. guard your heart.

steph--> you are an amazing person. you are such a leader, and you know exactly who you are, and taht shines through.

mike--> you are awesome, and vital to the youth group. you are flexible and not judgemental at all. keep it up, the youth group needs you.