Monday, September 25, 2006

Nightmares

ok...the reason why i'm up at 6am...i officially hate nightmares! they scare me and make it so i can't sleep...and i've been having them so often lately...like tonight. it was two of them, together. it started at youth...it was all good, we were watching movies in the gym. there were a bunch of couches set up. and then mike got a phone call...coltan had died, from an overdose of mixed drugs. i cried, and so did other people...then it morphed into like "the next day"...now i was at my cabin (but it was way different...) and i was still mourning coltan. but some stuff happened, and more stuff, and then it was evening. and i was sitting outside on a couch, watching a lightening storm with my family...and trees were falling down, and things were being shot at...basically we were under attack. but not us exactly. it was like a sniper. but then he started shooting at us...and then i saw this little, crouched down guy with a shotgun come out of the shadows. but i didn't say anything. and i saw his shawdow walk around the couch to the end where my head was, and put the shotgun to my head...
and that's when i woke up. i didn't jump awake...i forced myself to wake up. because it's so much worse when you don't open your eyes...

JESUS, PLEASE MAKE THESE NIGHTMARES LEAVE ME ALONE...YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I NEED THIS TIME TO REST AND EASE MY MIND. GOD, YOU KNOW MY FEARS AND FRUSTRATIONS, AND YOU KNOW HOW THESE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS AND DREAMS TERRIFY ME. PLEASE KEEP MY MIND AT PEACE WHILE I SLEEP. REST THESE UNEASY THOUGHTS THAT I MUST BE SUBCONSCIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT.
PLEASE JESUS...MAKE THEM GO AWAY...

3 comments:

Lynette said...

amen.

steph said...

awww katie... thats horrible! i have dreams like that sometimes too... not fun. ill pray for you and i really hope that you have a good sleep tonight<3<3luver yas<3<3

grace said...

yeah.. i'll pray for you too.. riht now!!! okay i prayed for you.but i will again and again... anyways, luver you