Saturday, December 29, 2007

Blah

christmas for another year has come and gone, and i don't really care. this year i didn't even feel that excited for christmas, and to me, when christmas finally came, it just didn't feel like christmas. and i'm not sure why. i've heard that as you get older christmas just loses it's excitement and splendor, and it's just a holiday from school. maybe so. but usually i am excited for christmas, excited for the presents, the family time, the traditions. but this year i just wasn't into it. i was meh. it's strange, i've never felt that way about christmas before. but i didn't enjoy christmas the same way i that i usually do. don't get me wrong, i enjoyed christmas. i had a good time with my family and keith, and keith's family.

in some ways i hate the holidays. i just feel so tired all the time! it's probably because i'm not out and doing things, but it's still so strange. you would think that because i'm not doing much i would have more energy, energy that is all stored up. but no, that's not how it seems to be. i'm good for a few hours, and then i just randomly crash. it's so strange. hopefully the alnighter tomorrow will help! i'm so excited for it. it will be a grand time. and then new years, which apparently i am spending with keith and his family friends!? sure alright sounds good to me, let's hope katelynn doesn't make a fool of herself. ooh ooh i got a new cd today! the sherwood cd....sweet. i'm going to go listen to it now.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

EH Formal

well last night keith and i went to the formal and evan hardy, and actually it was pretty fun! the supper part was good and we had a lot of pictures taken, especially by this teacher who takes pictures for the yearbook. so i'm pretty sure that i'll be in the evan hardy yearbook. probably a couple times. and the food was decent, and the dance was fun and they actually played good music! and it was even that dirty. honestly, evan hardy dancers are cleaner than centennial dances, from what i saw. but whatever. so yeah it was a lot of fun and i don't really know what else to say. keith looked good, i looked good, i got a rose....life is wonderful! so here, you can all look at a lovely picture now...

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Random Writings from Biology

i'm not a genius
but i'm not stupid.
i'm not drop dead gorgeous
but i'm not butt ugly.
i'm not a jock
but i'm not a lazy bum.
i'm not the life of the party
but i'm not a social outcast.
i'm average.



but why me? why am i the lucky one? i wish that they were lucky too. i want them to have what i have. and yet i will not give up what i have. there is no way i could let go. but why me? what did i ever do to deserve him?



...and i want life to be fair...

LoveLoveLoveCute


in a beautiful green world,
where nature is king,
there is a castle that reigns in beauty and splendor.

inside lives a princess, whom everyone loves.
all day and all night she does as she please.
she goes for tea with her friends,
they laugh and they tease.
they trust and they tell,
sisters forever.

and she has a boy,
who has stolen her heart.
who makes her sing,
calms her fears.
who makes her laugh,
and dries her tears.
he still has the ability to give her butterflies with simply
a look or a
touch.

they all know her so well,
in their own special way.
this princess who dances,
safe and carefree.
and she goes through life with
ease that is envied.
naive and blind to the
real world
around her.

and she wishes
on rainbows
and stars and so much more.
she crosses her fingers to keep her luck strong.
but try as she might
to keep reality at bay,
she knows her fairytale can't always stay.
but when will the pixie dust fall and the palace burn?
when will the girls and the special boy go?
she doesn't know when it will all fall apart.
so until then she will live in her fairytale world.
and maybe if she wishes, ans wishes some more...
her fairytale world will never go away.


Meaningful


and i wish that it would never have to end...

Friday, December 07, 2007

My Favorite Fears


to the tune of "My Favorite Things" in The Sound of Music:


death to those close to me
natural disasters
fires at midnight and
burglas who prowl
people in cars who drive by with black guns
these are a few of my favorite fears

diving boards, drowning
skiing and biking
sitting alone and
waiting for others
ordering at resturaunts while they stare and smirk
these are a few of my favorite fears

shedding my mask, show
what i really feel
giving my heart out
and choosing to trust
hoping those close to me won't run away
these are a few of my favorite fears

when the dog bites
when the bee stings
these also make me scream
to counter these fears i hold
tight to my Father and then I don't feel
so scared

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Run from the Unmasked


there are times when i think
that wearing my mask is beneficial.
to myself, and to those around me.
because, really,
who wants to see all of me?
who wants to see every
change
in mood?
who wants to see
every thought
flash through my eyes?
but contrary to this,
i have heard that it is bad
to wear a mask.
that it is horribly hard on
yourself
to keep everything
bottled inside.
and i hear the people tell me
to let it out.
to take the cap off the bottle,
and to stop hiding what i really
think and feel.
but they are the ones
who do not want to hear.
who do now want to see the
strong one
fall apart.
and when she does,
she is left all
alone.
to be with these thoughts and feelings
that she finally let out
because people said they would be there.
and when she finally opens up
she discovers that she cannot trust,
because they all
run.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Worrying


ok there is just stuff bugging me right now that i need to get out, because this is driving me nuts and i have no one to talk to right now.

well i suppose my question is: is it wrong to be the designated driver for friends? is it bad to go to parties, purposefully not drinking, but going just for the purpose of being the DD?

someone very close to me is doing this again this weekend, and i have to be honest--i don't like it. it happened last year, and i worried so much. and i know that on saturday night, i will be up late into the night wondering what is going on and praying until i can't pray anymore that they are all safe and nothing goes wrong. they're taking the precautions, it was right of them to choose the DD, but why put yourself in the situation, whether you are the partier or the DD...i don't like it. it makes me nervous. and i worry for the DD. not that they'll drink. not that people will try to get on them. not that they'll do something stupid. i don't know why i worry. but i do.

call me crazy, say it's irrational, tell me there's no need to worry...i don't care what you say. i worry, and i don't know how to stop.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Waiting for Mason...


and while i wait, i will take the short and limited time that i have to blog. because otherwise, you might never hear from me ever again. well, at least not this week. i'm so busy! it's insane! ok let's talk about all the things katelynn has to do.

1. well of course there is school, which takes up half my waking hours...plus homework. which generally, i guess i can't complain, because i don't get that much. but still. so we'll average...9 hours or so of school. maybe 8.
2. basketball. which takes up about 2 hours of my every day. plus this thursday/friday we are in the mount royal tipoff classic, a senior tournament. cross your fingers we don't completely die.
3. extracurricular. this would include violin, AWANA, youth...a couple hours almost every day. well, tuesdays, wednesdays, fridays. but that's still quite a bit of time.
4. any social life that i can possibly fit in. which, right now, isn't a lot. it really isn't. not gonna lie, it is suffering.

oh who am i kidding, ALL areas of my life are suffering right now! school? well, some of it ain't so great. (don't ask about my last math test...although the bio test was good!) basketball? it's alright, although tomorrow is my first game and i'm ...a lot nervous! extracurricular? well, violin is definately on the losing end of things, don't have a good feeling about tomorrow's lesson. AWANA is fine, although i can't be there next week what a shame. youth? well, i wasn't there last week, probably won't be there this week, and then i will miss two MORE weeks, which means i'll be back just in time for the christmas banquet. joy oh joy. you're all going to hate me now. and my social life? well good thing i see a big chunk of friends at school, otherwise a) i would be a hermit and a social outcast and b) all my friends would hate me. as it is only about half of you probably complain that you haven't seen me. well book now, if you want a spot!


Friday, November 23, 2007

Home Sick


i don't mean i'm sick for my home, i mean i am at home, being sick.

yuck.

i hate being sick. but that's how i woke up this morning. i just have this awful tummy ache! so i took the day off from school. which is really odd, because i NEVER stay home sick. never never never. and it wasn't really my idea. i mean i thought of staying home, but i was like no, i need to go to school...and plus if i wanted to go out tonight i should probably be able to go out during the day! but then my mom suggested i just take the day off and stay home, and that's what i ended up doing because i just feel horrible. just yucky all around. it's so gross, actually. but i won't go into all the details, i don't want to gross anyone out.

the one perk to being home all day is that there is a what not to wear marathon on ALL DAY LONG! so while i am sick i can sit and watch what not to wear. wonderful!

anyways, back to the couch.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Ode to Fish & Chips


oh fish and chips
how i long for you
i tasted you once and never again will i eat
fish or chips
the same way.
i savour your taste
fried in grease it may be
but to my taste buds
it is heaven.
oh fish, i dip you in your best friend
who goes by the name
tartar sauce.
the taste of the two of you
together
is like a beautiful dance
or a song in perfect harmony.
and chips, you too
have a dance partner,
who dresses in red and goes by the name
ketchup.
oh fish and chips,
how i long for you.
and i wait for the day,
when we three shall meet again.
fish with the partner of tartar sauce,
chips with the partner of ketchup,
and me with the partner of money.
oh i wait for the day
when the three pairs
will meet again
and begin, once again,
to dance.

Out in the Open


thought i should get this out in the open, just for anyone who doesn't know. and also because i know the people reading this blog will pray for me, and i really need that prayer over the next few days.
ok. i told mike that i wanted to be baptized this sunday. sooo....yeah. i'm scared.

Monday, November 12, 2007

It's a little early!


but i did promise caitlin i would help her with filming her speech, and it's not my fault she chose 9am...but it is my fault that i only got about seven hour sof sleep. oh well. i'm young, i'll bounce back. right?

but i'm actually looking forward to today. helping caitlin out for a bit, then chilling with keith and getting fish and chips for lunch--

pause here.

I LOVE FISH AND CHIPS!!!!

i think once i've eaten my fish and chips i will have a special blog post all about them.

now back to my day.

--and then i'm just chilling with keith i think...maybe going to carrie's birthday party to help steph out, but keith wasn't too keen on my leaving him for the afternoon. so we'll see.

on another note, my back is so tense! even i can feel it, and usually i can't feel it. but my muscles are sore, and they hurt. anyone want to give me a massage???

but i better go sit by the door, caitlin will be here soon.

It's way too late to still be up...


once again, i am sititng here, doing nothing.
but for once i actually want to be posting, i want to be updating this blog, i want it to have life.

but once again, i'm not quite sure what to say.

it is late, and yet i don't want to sleep. i do because i have to get up in a few hours...but on the other hand i want to talk, i want to discuss, i want to question. it is that time of night when i mull over things, and this makes me ask questions. partially because of the topics i was talking about tonight. i talked with carly and keith for the past hour and a bit.

ok, they did most of the talking. i mostly listened.

and they were talking about people they went to elementary school with, and where they are now in life.

and it made me think a couple of things.

one, that keith was very different in elementary and there's a whole bunch of things that i kinda knew but didn't really know the whole story. and how he was a bit of a player back then.

two, it made me think about where the people i went to elementary school are. and i have a big urge to find the graduating list of students and go through the list with someone and wonder where they are now, and to laugh about the memories that those names bring back. because i have years of history with those people, and there are memories i'm sure that are hiding, just waiting for someone to say the right word and call them out of their dark corner of my mind.

but now i suppose i should be off to bed, where i will wonder more until sleep overtakes my me, and dreams consume my mind. and maybe, if i'm lucky, i will dream of old memories.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I don't even want to be doing this right now


and yet i am posting. what is the point in this? i have no reason to post, and no want to post in the first place...
and yet i am here.

well i am thinking about whether i want to go out tonight or not...originally i was just going to stay home with keith and watch a movie but then kenton called him and invited him to go bowling and the invitation was extended to me, and now it is up to me to decide whether we bowl or watch a movie. and while it's a movie that i really want to see, we can watch it in a couple days. and i do like bowling. but i'm just not sure if i'm in a people mood tonight. honestly, i'm kinda sleepy actually. i just want to go lay down and have a nap. i am content with being silent, and i know that if i go out i will either have to talk and make myself seem happy, or be silent and suffer the questions and looks.

i think i'll just go have a nap.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

<3


I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me.

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

someone who would sing to me at random moments.

who would let me sleep on their chest.

a boy who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me.

i want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

someone who would just let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything i said.

he would throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb and then kiss me a million times.

someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

he would take me to the park and put his arms around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time.

he would tell his friends about me all the time and smile when he did it.

and we'd make out in the pouring rain.

he would never be afraid to say "i love you".

and we'd argue about silly little things and then make up.

i want a boy that would kiss me at midnight on new years and count stars with me.

who would stay at home with me on a friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

someone who would tell me i'm beautiful, but not too often.

who would make me laugh like no one else could.

but mostly i just want someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart..

Friday, November 02, 2007

Help My Blog Not Be Boring!

my blog is so boring. so would someone please leave a comment and give me something to talk about? give me a situation, a scenario, a quote or verse to meditate on, ask a question...something!

please?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Waiting

as i sit here and wait for time to go by...i will blog. because erin wants me to.

ok well what can i say? i'm obsessed with facebook? nothing new.
my pants are dirty? well yes in fact, they are. they have four little yellow spots on them, and i don't have a clue what they are from.
i have awesome pink lemonade lipgloss? you bet!
i'm a nut? for sure.

alrighty. well what can i really say? how about...i'm bored with school? yes, me, the girl who would always say "i love school!"? yep, one and the same. school for me this year is just dragging by, and not holding up to it's usual excitement. i'm not sure if i changed or if just my attitudes changed, but suddenly i find myself bored and just wanting to go home. even though most of my friends are at school with me and even in my classes, i just do not want to be there. but i really need to find a way to get back into it, to enjoy school again. it makes the day, week, month, year, easier. so i guess that's what i'm struggling with right now.

okay this has wasted about two minutes of my time?

well tomorrow is halloween and at school the band is play "the headless horseman" and it is such a creepy song! nt going to lie. we're playing it for the pep rally. oh yay for shortened classes tomorrow morning! even though it means we have a pep rally. maybe this one will actually be good!

and i'm waiting some more, for time to go by...so i can go carve a pumpkin! yes, that is what i am waiting for. because tonight i am carving a pumpkin with keith. oh yes, it will be interesting. hopefully it actually turns out semi-good! ok, better than semi-good. good good.

is this enough for you erin?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Finished


volleyball is over. we had our last league game tonight, and because we lost, there is not a spot for us in the playoffs to get to quarter finals. so we're done. in some ways, i will miss it. i had fun playing, and i'm not sure if i will know what to do with myself and all my free time. on the other hand, i'm glad to be done. i'm ready to have that time again. and soon it will be filled with basketball, so i suppose i should take the extra time while i can.

tonight i feel very strange. i don't feel like myself. i don't know how to explain how i feel...i just feel strange. i don't know what's wrong with me.

i think i'm just an odd ball.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

True Colors


Funny Phrases Food
Cute
"True Colors" by Kalan Porter and Theresa Sokyrka

You with those sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Though I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it
And that darkness inside you makes you feel so small

But I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful like a rainbow

Show me your smile
Don't be unhappy
Can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful
Like a rainbow

You're beautiful
I see your true colors
Just remember
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
Are beautiful
Beautiful
Like a rainbow
Like a rainbow

You're beautiful

Your true colors are beautiful


.

i was listening to this song today, and all of the sudden, it was like HEY! do people see my "true colors" shining through? it's something i've been thinking about on and off for a while. it started when we did that study at youth, when we talked about being set apart, authentic. and it made me think: am i authentic? and, you know, i don't think i was. and sometimes i still don't think i am. i'm working at it, i really am. but it takes time. and although that's not an excuse, it's true. but i do think that i am getting better at showing what i really think or feel or mean. i can only hope that i am. because i don't want to be a fake, a phony. it's so much easier to just be me.

no matter who that is.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I can't figure out accounting, so I'm blogging...


i feel so bad for not updating this blog very often. i have no idea how often people are reading this blog, but for anyone who checks it regularly, it must be pretty boring not to see anything new!

so what can i tell you that is new in my life...

well, this weekend i went to moose jaw for a volleyball tournament. we didn't do amazing, but we did play well and it was good for our team to play that much within a short time period. playoffs start next week, and the trounament was a good thing to prepare us for that.
volleyball has been pretty intense, especially this week. playoffs are next week, and we play two difficult teams this week--marion graham and bjm. uh-oh! cross your fingers for those.
oh and friday night? in moose jaw? four and a half hours of sleep. (the girls in my room wouldn't shut up.) and then i went and played volleyball all day saturday. then i went to bed at nine, and got up sunday morning at 6:45am! i had to be at the church by 7:30 sunday morning because our youth worship team played for the sunday morning worship service. and we actually did pretty good! there were no huge mistakes, and a lot of people came up to us afterwards and had a lot of good things to say.


...i'm really craving cupcakes right now. so tomorrow i am going to make some.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Four Months!

i forgot!

today was four months! yay! funny thing...i forgot! was hanging out with keith and all of the sudden he's like "soo we should go out for lunch today, it being four months and all". and i was like "OH! right!"

can you tell i forgot? wow. can't believe i actually forgot.

but it was a lot of fun. we went out to mano's and WOW food was really yummy!

annnd i also found out that we are going to phantom of the opera in april!! and guess what!? keith got front row tickets!!! ahh i am soooooo excited!!! it definately made my day today.

ok that's all.

Travelling


Nature Nature Nature

i realized tonight how much i love travelling, and how much i love doing it with my family.

i love being in a vehicle, i love just sitting and riding in the car. i can't explain it, i just love it.
and i love travelling with my family, because we put on the music and we sing. we just sing. i don't know what it is, but there's something in the combination of music, family, and travelling that makes it really special. and it's there everytime we're out on the road. even for a short trip, like to regina.

because i felt it tonight...and i remembered how much i love it.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Two Kinds of Rain Today

i don't like it. i feel almost completely alone. i feel neglected by a lot of people. i'm lonely. i'm hurting, because i feel shut out. i feel like no one wants to spend time with me.

i don't want to be in my house. i feel like i can't be myself in my house. i sleep in my house every night, i store my clothes there. my toothbrush is there, marking my place. it is a shelter from the cold outside. i see my bible beside my bed, i see the marks that i have left in my favorite rooms of the house. i see things i have left laying around. my house is not my security. yes, i am sheltered from elements and i feel safe from fires and thieves. but i am not secure in my house. i feel like i can't show my true self to my family. granted, i don't always know who she is...
i feel not allowed to feel.
i can't be mad in my house. i can't be upset in my house. i thought home was a place where you were supposed to feel totally comfortable, at ease, loved, able to be yourself...if that is true, then my house is not my home.

so where can i feel? where i can i take these thoughts, these feelings?

no where that i have found yet. and so they sit in my head, and they go round and round on the merry-go-rounnd that is my brain.

they bottle themselves into the bottles that i have hid away. hid away for a rainy day.

it rained today.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I Will Go On


i will go on
my past i leave behind me
i gladly take
his mercy and his love
he is joy, and he is peace
he is strength and sweet release
i know he is and i am his
i will go on

chorus of "i will go on" by gaither vocal band

Minot


NatureNatureNature

home again, home again, after a fun-filled weekend in minot, north dakota.
not really much to say about it.
swam a bit. went down a cool waterslide. that was fun. sat in the hot tub. also enjoyable.
shopped a LOT. there were a lot of awesome sales on. so i got quite a bit of stuff for really cheap prices. quite happy with my purchases.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

sometimes i just feel like everything is falling in around me. it's like i have this perfect little world, my own world, my bubble. doses of reality, but never a full submersion into reality.

is that bad?

but i like my own little world. i am safe there.

but it's very strange to have my perfect little world, but to have things going on in reality, in other peoples lives, and to think "that could happen to me". but for some reason, it doesn't. i am blessed, lucky in that way. there are so many things that i see people dealing with, that i help people deal with, that i have never experienced in my own life.

so am i being favored, am i lucky, is it good?
or am i being babied, cheated, missing experiences that will shape my life? that will give me the expereience to deal with other things in life?

i am conflicted. there are thoughts running around in my head that i don't know what to think about. it's like a merry-go-round that has sped out of control. i see the same things, flashing before me again and again and again. but they won't slow down enough for me to get on a figure them out.

.

in some ways, i hate going away. i miss too much. and getting caught up is oh-so-difficult.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Driving


i can go get my drivers license in under a month.

and i am so, so nervous.

i haven't even booked it yet, which i really should do because i want to go on taylor and taylor is going fast right now, and i would like to do my test before it gets too nasty outside. as it is i'll probably have to take it beginning of november.
and it's not really that i'm such a bad driver, because i'm not that bad. and it's not really the general driving that scares me, because i'm pretty comfortable with that, and i will be driving more as it comes up to the date of the test.
it's the parallel park that i'm worried about. i haven't parallel parked since i took driver ed. oops! so my daddy's talking about taking me out driving and just making me park and park and park basically. which i guess would be really good, and would help for me to get my license on the first try.
so that's where that is going. oh how exciting.

but i really want my license. so i will practice. yay.

i just need to put in some good music...hmmm...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Shows


yay! i am going to michael buble! in january!! woot woot!

and i'm going to go to phantom of the opera when it's in saskatoon in april/may!

yay!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Change


there is change in the air.
i can feel it.
it's everywhere i look.
and as much as i tried to deny it,
it is in me.
perhaps mainly in me.
i notice the change in others
faster than i notice it in myself.
i blame others for their changes
when it is my change that causes
problems.
my observations of others are
unfair,
perhaps even
judgemental.
i am hard on those
i love most
and keep the blame off
myself.
when all these problems
that have come about
have not
spontaneously generated
but most likely caused
by my own
change.
i search for how i have changed,
and still for how others have changed.
i search for how those changes,
in me and in others,
collide.
i search for the source of the problems,
and can only find change
to blame.
i search to fix
the problems that change has caused
but find myself shying away
from hurting others.
i do not want confrontation
again.
i want to change
how this is.
i want to fix
the problem.
but how do you find a solution
when you don't know the source of the problem?
and so i fear
that i must
yet again
change.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Keep Going




well i know you have all seen this little clip before. and i'm sorry if because it's playing over and over you get really distracted...
you know what i love about that little penguin? he gets up and goes again. even though the other guy is just pushing him down and pushing him down, he keeps going. he's a trooper.
and it's just like life. even when it takes you down, you gotta get right back up and back into the swing of things.
it's like falling off your horse. if you don't get right back on, you might never get back on.
don't be afraid of life.

and just today, i feel as if i have learned so much, realized so much, had my eyes opened.

Aaron Shust - My Savior My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;

That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

.

so that's the jist of that song...bolded parts are meaning something to me right now.

.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


Monday, September 10, 2007

My Poor Neglected Blog


i feel so bad for my blog. yes, i know it's just a tiny piece of space on the world wide web, but i still feel bad for it! it's so neglected, so alone...so much for my "i'll write lots and lots on my blog this year". i started out strong, but then summer came along, and i haven't written hardly anything since school started. and so my blog is neglected.
but really, what do i have to say on my blog? i don't have any big major problems like i wrote about in grade nine. and in grade ten i just wrote about random stuff, because i was trying to write everyday.
so maybe i'll just continue with my random writings on my poor blog, who wishes that i would write something important and actually blog worthy.

can i help it if my life just isn't that interesting right now?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Funny Stories


first off...it's wednesday. and wednesday in katelynn's world means awana night! but guess what? i didn't realize that awana started TONIGHT! so i was sitting at home, watching tv, when the phone rang. mrs. torvi, my "boss", was on the line. here's the conversaton:

mrs torvi: "katelynn, it's wednesday"
me: "um, yeah, it is"
mrs. torvi: "are you coming to awana? because i have four beautiful girls who are waiting for you..."
me: "omigoodness! it didn't even register! i'll be right there!"

and that's how i wound up at awana half an hour late.
but the best is yet to come!
there are all these new little five year olds. and they're really funny. in council time (we sit there and listen to mrs. torvi tell stories and talk about god and such), this little kid just randomly said "big rockets, big rockets". because, well, yes, there were two giant red rockets in the room. but it was completely off topic, and we hadalready been in there about 10 minutes...hmmmm.
second funny part. this one kid (callan) raises his hand, and says:

"mrs. torvi, can i go home yet?"

well, that made me laugh.
and now here's the best one.
mrs. torvi was talking about parents, and how it's important to listen to them and such. and she says, "even though i'm a grown up, i still have a mommy and a daddy". and this little kid (michael, i believe) bursts out, super loud, and says the following:

"no, your daddy's DEAD!"

emphasis on the dead.
and we all kinda chuckled, and mrs. torvi says "umm no actually he's not".

so it was a very eventful night, one that i was glad to go to after a long school day and a long volleyball practice.

oh, just thought i would add that this is post 201. woot woot!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Put It All Together And What Have You Got...


katelynn's busy school schedule!
well school is up and running...and already i am busy with so much stuff! of course there is homework, which surprisingly has been very light so far! yay! but then last week there were volleyball tryouts, and i found out on friday that i made the senior girls volleyball team, which was pretty exciting. and practices started today, so that's everyday usually after school, plus games twice a week. although playing twice a week cuts down on practice (hehe), and add two tournaments in there plus the year end tournament...yeah busy busy busy. and that's just volleyball! throw in violin lessons/practicing, working at awana every wednesday night, a little bit of babysitting, youth, church, friends, family, boyfriend...and then god! where does he fit in!! it's so much! so overwhelming!
but so far i'm doing ok. spending time with friends at school whenever i can, and when i can out of school. fitting keith in whenever possible (but try to put our schedules together...good luck with that...) and family whenever i'm at home. and the other things all have their place. so i guess maybe it won't be so bad. at least that's what i can hope for.
but anyways, i want to relax a bit for now, which means doing some homework right now. maybe later...i have a feeling this blog might be a little neglected. but i'll try!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Provision Reminder


FATHER THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THOSE BABYSITTING JOBS! IT'S NOT THE MIRACLE JOB THAT I STILL WANT, BUT IT'S REASSURING TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE LISTENING AND WATCHING AND PROVIDING FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER, AND FOR YOUR PROVISION!

Friday, August 24, 2007

$$$


lately i've been really worrying about my "financial situation". i know it sounds really stupid for a 16 year old girl to be worrying about finances, but i worry about it. mainly because i am on the egypt trip for march...seven months away. and i have to get $3600. that's how much the trip costs, anyways. i'm not even sure if my parents will pay for some of it. they're not sure yet. they say it depends on how hard i work to get some money for the trip. but that's a lot of money! and then add on spending money...it's just so much. and my parents aren't sure if they want me to get a job, and i want to get a job but it would have to be a miracle job for me to actually be able to take it. because it would have to be a good job so that my parents would allow me to take it (no 7eleven for me!). it would have to be flexible, because there are some days that i just can't work. and i want it to be somethinghat i could actually enjoy doing. but how often can i get those three things to all coordinate? how could it work? i just don't know...and plus my parents don't always want to be driving me back and forth from a job, and even once i have my license i might not always be able to take one of the vehicles...so it's kind of a mess. and i've really been stressing about this lately. so i guess, once again, i must give it all up to god...

FATHER I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A PLAN FOR ME. I'M ON THIS EGYPT TRIP, YOU MUST WANT ME TO GO. BUT HOW WILL I EVER PAY FOR IT? LORD PLEASE SEND SOMETHING MY WAY. IS IT WRONG TO BE PICKY ABOUT WANTING A JOB THAT I WILL ENJOY? IS THERE EVEN A JOB OUT THERE FOR, ONE WHERE I CAN ONLY WORK A FEW DAYS A WEEK? I NEED A MIRACLE JOB...AND GOD YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DISHES OUT MIRACLES...SO CAN I ASK FOR A MIRACLE JOB? LORD PLEASE TAKE CHARGE OF THIS SITUATION AND SHOW ME A PATH IN LIFE TO TAKE...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Fancy Photos

well if you've been on facebook lately you probably have seen my camp pictures...but here are a few of my favorites (coincidentally, all of me...hmmm...) and i had some fun with the editing thing playing around with them. just thought i would share!



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So...


how about i have done nothing all day? woohooo go me. yes i have no life. but all my silly friends are working!!! gee what is up with that...sorry guys. i'm not being mean. i'm glad you guys are out there working. in fact, i wish i had a job! but besides the point. well i guess i did actually do something today. i made plans for the weekend! woot woot! at first i thought my weekend was going to be boring and empty, but it's actually quite full now! yay! silly keith is leaving me for the weekend again. but oh well--that leaves me with lots of time to have girl time! woohoo! pretty much my favorite thing to do anyways. and plus i haven't spent much time with anyone this summer, so i'm pretty much just taking what i can get from people!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The End of Summer


it's gone by so fast.
and yet so slow.

i really can't believe that it's the end of summer. i guess, all in all, it did go by quickly. and i was away for most of it too! crazy.

school is in a week and a day. and while i will miss being able to do whatever i want, whenever i want...i am looking forward to school. i miss the people, and i miss the routine. i know school will be hectic this year, but i think i'm ready for it. not looking forward to the intense workload, but glad that i have a spare every other day to help with the homework aspect. and like i said, i can't wait to be seeing a good chunk of my friends everyday. and finally everyone will be home to stay for a while, and i will be able to call people and actually get a hold of them...ahhh.

but for now i will relish the last few (cold) days of sumer, and do whatever i want.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

More Pictures


hehe...i had fun playing with some picture editing stuff!
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Picture

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Friday, July 27, 2007

The Moon


i love the moon.

have you ever just sat and watched the moon?

i love the moon. i love to stare at it. i look for it in the sky every night, and i like seeing it during the day, too. i can see it right now. it's white, and almost full, and it's surrounded by darkness. i love the moon.

it's always there, even though it looks different from night to night. and no matter where i go in the world, i look at the same moon.

everyone in the world looks at the same moon.

i sit and watch the moon.

i love the moon.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Posting Isn't Talking


...which means i haven't broken my promise.
i'm sorry, i told myself i wasn't going to talk/complain/ANYTHING about this. but this doesn't count. seeing as it's the only post i've made about this so far this summer, and it's very short and really doesn't say anything about anything. you cannot complain that i don't shut up about this topic. i promised myself that certain things like that wouldn't happen.

yes i realize that the above makes absolutely no sense. but let me be. i'm going crazy.
scratch that.
i'm already crazy.

so to the point of this post...



i miss him.

Michael Buble Lyrics


"You And I"

Here we are
On earth together
It's you and I
God has made us fall in love
It's true
I've really found
Someone like you
Will it stay
The love you feel for me
Will you say
That you will be by my side
To see me through
Until my life is through
Well in my mind
We can conquer the world
In love you and I
You and I, you and I...
I'm glad
At least in my life
I've found someone
That may not be here forever
To see me through
But I found strength in you
Cause in my mind
You will stay here always
In love you and I
You and I, you and I
You and I, you and I
You and I
In my mind
We can conquer the world
In love you and I
You and I, you and I
You and I...



"Everything"

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

.
guess who i'm thinking about

Life


"A happy childhood is the worst possible preperation for life"

the above quote is one i read in a bathroom reader yesterday. and it got me to thinking.

life for me has been reasonably easy. god has certainly blessed me a lot through life. i would say that i'm fairly average in athletic, academic, and social abilities. (if you disagree, please leave me a comment! haha) i have been lucky enough to grow up in a christian home, surrounded at all times by christian family and friends. i have grown up in an amazing church with lots of kids programs and fun youth groups. i have always had the support i've needed, both emotionally and financially. i've had lots of great opportunities for travel, and have had the chance to do lots of fun things. i am very healthy. i go to a good school, live in a good area of town. i have never really wanted for anything without being able to get it.

death has not hit me. and when i say me, i mean it has not hit close to home. the closest that death has come to me would be a great aunt or uncle, whom i barely know. none of the family that i am close to has died. none of my friends have died, and very few of them have had someone extremely important die in their lives.

so when i read this quote...i thought of myself. i have had a happy childhood. is the rest of life, aka the adult life, going to be horrible for me? will i find myself in a place of financial worry? will friends and family walk away, or worse, die? will i suddenly be left alone?

these are my fears. and yes, maybe they seem irrational. but you've got to understand...my upbringing, my life...has been easy, it's been good. i love that it's been good, i'm very blessed by god and i know how lucky and blessed i am.

but i worry about my future, and lots of aspects of it. this is just one of them that i have been worrying about lately.

death is a great fear of mine, mainly because it has not hit me yet. i have not really learned how to deal with death. (i haven't even ever had a pet die!).
so i wonder...as i get older, and the people around me get older...
will death hit me?
and will i be able to cope?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Dallas Valley


well i'm back from another week away...and i'm not even home, i'm in regina for a few days! but anyways.

just came back from dallas valley ranch camp. it's pretty sweet. 20 minutes out of regina, and pretty much on a hill/valley. the main ranch house is at the top and all the cabins and activities and such are down in the valley. it looks really cool. i really like the camp. (by the way, they said i should be an LIT there next summer! hmm...)

so i was a cook there, along with some amazing people. it was a lot of fun. last year i cooked at a different camp (kadesh) and it was fun too. but yeah this year was really good. we really connected as a kitchen staff and had a lot of fun together. lots of laughs. and i got to dig my hands into some work projects...literally! our head cook, becky, always seemed to give me the fun (but messy!) jobs to do. such as mushing up bananas (just use your hands, katelynn!), mixing up "dirt" for dirt pie stuff, pushing down graham cracker crumbs for cheesecake, etc. yeah i had a lot of fun doing a variety of different things.

and the one morning i was at staff meeting (a different person from the kitchen went down every morning to represent kitchen staff) i was really blessed. just by what the camp director told the staff--who do you want to hear calling your name? (not just parents, friends, or a boyfriend...you should want to hear jesus call your name!) and by the counsellors and how they were praying for certain campers and what was on their heart, and just the fun they were having with the campers.

i love camp. i really do. and everytime i go to camp lately, whether i'm a camper or staff or training or whatever...i just have this deep desire to be there. i see so much good god stuff going on at camp, and i see god working in amazing ways through and in people...and i want to be a part of that. i love camp and what it does for people, the effect it has on their lives. and it is just such a desire of mine to be at camp. and i want to be in the cabins, interacting with the campers. i love being in the kitchen, i think it's great. but my heart truly lies with the kids, and that is where i want to be.

on a different note...

the kids were singing "romans 16:19" today for their parents. and i've just been thinking about the verse a bit today.

"But everyone knows that you are obedient to the Lord. This makes me very happy. I want you to be wise in doing right and to stay innocent of any wrong. The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you." [romans 16:19-20]

...be excellent...in what is good...(that's how the song goes)

sigh. i love camp.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Summer Hatin'


i find summer really difficult. i find it extremely hard to not be able to talk to certain people every day. i am used to seeing people nearly every day and talking to some people literally every day. i find it really hard not to be able to do that in the summer.

let's face it. i'm an emotional person. i'm constantly on a roller coaster. i'm hyper, i'm sad, i'm happy, i'm angry, i'm bored...and everything in between. and i have people i call for every single stage of that. i let people lean on me all they want. and all i ask in return is that they be a phone call away when i just need someone to talk to.

and in the summer, those people aren't always around for me. or i'm not always around for them. i hate that. i hate not being there for other people for every single thing. i like to be there for every single detail. i hate to miss things.

i hate sitting at home alone, wanting to cry, and not knowing why. i hate sitting around in the summer and eating too much food.

i just hate the summer.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Home Again




i'm home again...HELLO WORLD! haha


well i am back from my interesting week at mdt. mdt stands for ministry development training, but the theme this week was monastaric development training. we were doing some old school monastary stuff like praying the hours (four times a day praying all together) and some other stuff of the like, like silence and stuff. but i think david said it best when he said mdt stood for Misquitoes Dirt and sweaT! which is so true. the bugs were crazy...not only those little blood suckers that buzz in your ear at night, but the horseflys and wasps/hornets as well. so many people were stung this week which was really painful for them. thankfully i was not bitten but i know a lot of people that were and i felt so bad.
mdt was really cool and a great learning experience in all but i'm not going to go into all the details mostly because i can't remember half of them right now soo i will just let them randomly pop out in other conversations.

so on to my other plans for the summer (just so y'all know and can call me when i'm actually home haha). well i'm around at home this week until friday when i go on the youth retreat WOOT WOOT it will be a party! and then i am staying at my cabin after the retreat for a day then going home with my aunt/uncle/cousins so that i can go to camp with them where i am cooking for a week! yay! i'm excited for that. then i am home for another week, then back to my cabin for two weeks straight where i will be chilling with my family haha and hopefully getting a killer tan! and not whiplash from tubing. then i believe i'm back for another week? then off again to camp at the quest for sr. teen which grace and erin you should both come and i had people come up to me and say WHAT they are not coming to sr. teen? make them!!! so therefore you must both come now. it's not full...sign up! anyways. then after camp back here until school starts! or maybe at my cabin a little bit, not exactly sure on the specifics of that. but yeah that's the rest of my summer.

i'm not really sure what else to say because there is so much that went on this week at mdt but i just don't know how to explain it all and have it come out in a way that would make sense and not be like "oh you had to be there" kind of thing. so i guess i will just leave it. i really need something interesting to post about. maybe something will hit me? and maybe not. but hopefully i'll be able to somewhat keep up with this blog in the summer...i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

School's Out


well it's summer. no more school! yay! all my exams were actually really easy. and i barely even studied...how awesome is that. that makes me happy.

i know i haven't been here for a while. well, i've been here, but not posting. sorry to all you people who wait for me to update about my life! but i don't really have anything to say. school's out, i've just been chilling around the house and hanging out with a few people. i leave on sunday for camp--woot woot! what else can i say...hmm. i've been really tired lately. don't really know why. just have been. and i don't like it. i nap almost everyday now. how wierd is that? i feel old!

well like i said i have nothing to say, so i think i will go make some supper. or have a nap again. maybe both. or maybe just food. hmm life is strange sometimes.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Hey George!


E is for extraordinary
R is for radical
I is for insightful
K is for kind
A is for athletics and academics

geroge (i still don't know why i call you that...) you are such an amazing girl. i look up to you so much! (even though i am older and taller...) you amaze me with how you are able to trust God with everything, and to give everything to him on a daily basis. i know it must be a struggle, but I continually see you moving forwards in your faith and taking leaps of faith. i know you are an inspiration to lots of people around you, and that you bless the people that surround you everday. thank you for always being there for me...literally...and for all the good times we've had together. i'll never forget our super long slideshow, eating frozen cookies from the freezer (i think i ate like 20 cookies...) or the countless sleepovers--some under the pool table. so here's to your sweet 16 (that was actually yesterday...) and in hopes to many, many more. i love you!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Problem Solved


need i say more???

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Looks Don't Matter

well my cousin's friends made this video...and i really like it. it's making a lot of sense to me. so i'm just thinking about it right now. maybe i'll post more after i think about it more. but i have a lot running around my brain (see below post!). but go watch the video. it's cool. make sure you have your sound up loud; some parts are pretty quiet.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=cfJFypTVtFM

First Kiss Dilemna


i never thought kissing would be this confusing! but let me explain.

i have never been kissed by a boy. on the lips. just to get that straight.

mason is my partner in a drama scene that we have to perform for our drama final. in the scene, we have to have an "accidental" kiss. there was a long passionate kiss, but we cut it. we thought we could cut this little kiss too, but it ruins the motive for the character, which kills the scene. so we decided to do it. it's just supposed to be an accidental brush of lips.

so i told keith about it today. and he's...ok. he doesn't really like it, but i don't really like it either. he knows that it's just drama and you can't do a lot about that, and that it doesn't mean anything.

but it's too late to switch scenes...as it is, mason and i are behind.

i feel like i am making excuses to keep this kiss to mason in my life. it's really confusing me. because i don't want my first kiss to be with mason. and i don't want to make keith feel jealous, and i don't want any of this. but i feel stuck, because there isn't really anything i can do. we thought we could cut that part when we initially picked the scene, but found that we can't.

this kiss is small, and there are ways to make it extremely minimal. and i told keith that he can come watch us perform the scene if that makes him feel any better. and talking about this, i think, is making a bit better for him.

but i still feel really bad. but i'm just not sure what else there is left to do.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

My Birthday


well i'm sure some of you are just dying to here the details of my birthday...my sweet 16...well anyways i figured i should get on putting up the details so i have friends by tomorrow haha.
ok well the only parts you really all want to know have to do with keith so that's all i'll put up here.
well at lunch keith, rachel, carly, janelle, leanne, and sam all came to dq by my school for lunch. and some of my school friends were there too. and keith was sitting beside me, and then he's like i'm going to go talk to carly (she was sitting at the other table). and i'm all ok why are you telling me but whatever. so i'm just talking to the other people sitting at my table when all of the sudden someone from the other table is like katelynn look over here! so i look over and keith isn't facing me but he has this new black shirt on. and i'm thinking oh a new shirt i've never seen that before...and then i REALLY see the shirt. and in purple writing it says katelynn will you go out with me. as soon as i saw that i turned my head and was like wow in front of all these people! and i started laughing a bit because honestly i really wasn't expecting it. and then he came over and stood in front of me with a rose and was like katelynn will you go out with me? and i wouldn't even look at him i was going red and i was staring at this lovely red rose he was holding...and then he's like katelynn you still haven't answered me. (which is funny because this is kind of like what happened the first time he asked me out...honestly that kid and asking me out haha or maybe it's me and my responses to him asking me out...anyways!)
and i was like yes (of course!) and then he gave me a hug and there was a collective "awww" from the people around me! haha. way to make a moment...yeah but it was good. so he gave me the rose, and the shirt, and a burnt cd with a whole bunch of cute little songs on it and he told me to listen to it until he could come get me after school.
then after school i was sitting around my house waiting for him to come pick me up. he had some plan...of course he wouldn't tell me what it was! so when he finally came to get me (he was late!) then we got into his car and i'm all where are we going? and he's all you'll find out...and then he blindfolded me! so i had no idea where he was driving to. and when we finally got there, he made me get out of the car and walk a ways until he took of the blindfold. and when he did take off the blindfold...we were down by the river. it was really nice out and very pretty, and there were a bunch of pelicans that we were watching eat the fish and stuff. and we walked down closer to the river and walked down there for a bit and just stood and watched the birds and the water flowing and talked a bit and just stood there i guess. but it was good. and then as we were leaving...this is great...i decided it would be fun to climb up the steep part of the hill, instead of going on the road. so ok it was an adventure. we were almost to the top...when i fell...and started sliding...and of course when i fell he fell because he was standing behind me. so we slid pretty much the whole way to the bottom. poor us. but it was funny. and then we walked down the rest of the way (very slowly, i might add!) and then took the road. then what did we do...oh we went to his house and made sidekicks and watched grease. it was good, i had never seen it before.
oh and he gave me my birthday present...apparently what he had already given me wasn't my actually gift. so i got evan hardy sweats and body butter...which is funny because i've been saying that i will buy hardy sweats for about a year now...and i still hadn't bought any.
anyways the day with keith was a lot of fun and i really enjoyed it. so it was worth all the waiting!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Something On My Mind


i don't know what it is. i really don't. but it's there. and it's annoying. because it makes me want to pace and think it out. but it's really hard to think something out when you don't know what you need to think about. this could be a problem. maybe if i just try sleeping it would be better...and maybe not.
this would be a lot easier if i knew what was on my mind.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Musings


so instead of doing an english final, i'm doing a portfolio project and studying a subject and making an editorial and commercial and stuff like that. and my topic is eating disorders. and i took a quiz the other day in a book, about do you have the signs of anorexia or something. and i have a lot of the symptoms. i'm at high risk. scary thought. i've been thinking about it for the last 24 hours. and i don't like it. it makes me feel wierd. hmmm...

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Zero Passion


i hate feeling far away from God.
and that's kinda how i'm feeling now.
just got back from a missions trip. i expected to feel on a spiritual low after experiencing everything we experienced in mexico.
but this feels wierd.

i feel like i have no passion for God. and i feel like i should. most of our team has an unbelieveable fire and passion for God. and i want that. but i can't just make myself passionate. it doesn't work that way.

i've seen God work a lot this year. i've experienced a lot. but all the experiencing i've done has been through other people. i've gotten the edge of the experience from what happens in their lives. but i don't feel that any of it is happening in my own life. and i don't know why.

i pray all the time. i pray about the big things and the little things.
i listen for God. but it feels like he's not talking to me.

i learned about love in mexico, and i'm applying that.
i learned different aspects of love during the prayer path, and i'm working on those (although they are harder).
i learned that i need to put Jesus at the center of my life. and i'm trying to do that. thinking WWJD in every situation, praying about every choice, praying for people.

but i still don't have that fire. i'm not on fire for God. and i don't know how to become that. i want to experience God in my own life. experiencing him through other people is great and awesome in its own way, but i want it for myself, too. is that a selfish request?

Monday, June 04, 2007

Propelling Myself


am i lazy? some people seem to think so. namely my mother. today she was getting on my case about being lazy and always relying on people to drive me places. she wants me to get up off my butt, "propel myself" and start walking or riding my bike places. first point--i don't even own a bike! and on the other hand, i don't make people drive me, i'm fine walking. but if people are offering me a ride, or if they're going to the same place i am? then yeah i'm going to take the ride! i try not to make people come out of their way to get me, but if they're coming by my house and they offer, hey, i might as well go...saves time and it's a lot more fun!

Sunday, June 03, 2007

To My Duckie...


Funny Phrases
G is for golden hearted
R is for radical
A is for ADHD (somedays i wonder...hehe)
C is for compassionate
E is for enthusiastic

emo i love how you throw your heart and soul into everything you do. i noticed it in mexico, but i see it here at home too. you have such a heart of gold and such a servant heart...you serve everyone. i hope that today on your sweet 16 you let some others pamper you a bit! you amaze me with all that is thrown into your life, and how you make time for it all. and it's all so good! all your relationships, all your activities, you excel at all of them. it amazes me how you do all this and still find time just to talk. duckie i have gotten to know you so much over the past couple of years and i have loved every minute of it. you challenge me and surprise me all the time, and i thank you for it. thank you for all the good times that we have had in the past, and i know there are more good times to come. thank you for always being there even when i don't deserve it. you are truly a wonderful friend...and a lovely lady (when you want to be). keep after God and please don't ever leave me! i love you!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Turn the Negative into the Positive


"I don't know," the younger of the two men says. "I thought I'd be happier at this stage in my life."

"What's the problem?" the older man sitting across from him asks. "You've already made all the money you're ever going to need."

"Yeah," the younger man says sadly. "But being rich isn't all I thought it was cracked up to be."

"It never is."

There's a long pause. Finally the younger man says. "My wife's upset that we don't have children. The doctors say we probably can't."

"How old's your wife?"

"40."

"And you're?"

"The same age."

"Did you think about adopting?"

"My wife doesn't want to raise somebody else's children."

The older of the two men, a grey haired successful looking type, purses his lips and thinks about what he's going to say next. "Listen," the older man says. "So you may never have children. What does that mean for you?"

"I don't know," the younger man says.

"Are you, like, big into carrying on the family name?"

"My parents are dead. My sister has children. So……"

"Will it kill you not to have kids?"

"No."

The older man leans back in his chair. After a long pause he says, "Sometimes you have to exploit the negatives in your life. That may be how you have to look at this."

"Exploit the negative?" the younger man asks.

"You and your wife probably can't have children of your own and you don't want to adopt. Some people would say that's a negative, right?"

"Yes."

"But not having children means you and your wife are free to do other things. You can travel, explore business opportunities, go to school – you're not tied down. There's a positive side to not having kids."

"That sounds kind of cynical."

"Not at all," the older man says. "I have three girls. I love them to death. They've given me a bunch of grandchildren I adore. But any parent, if they're honest, will tell you that there are negatives to having children."

"You wouldn't do it over again?"

"I wouldn't change a thing," the older man says. "But that's the way my life worked out. Your life may be different. Are you comparing your life to other peoples? People with kids?"

"Yeah."

"Your life may not work out the same way. And if you don't live your life as it really is — you're heading for trouble."

"Maybe."

"All I'm saying is this," the older man says. "You have to look at the empty spaces in your life, see the possibilities, and turn them into opportunities."

"So you won't have kids," the older man continues, "But you have a lot of money. Millions. Maybe not having children will give you the time and freedom to use that money to help thousands of kids somewhere. When I was your age I was hustling to pay for braces. I couldn't spare a dime to charity."

"You have a point there," the younger man admits.

"Your life's going to be what it's going to be. But when you're stuck my advice is to look inside the negative parts of your life for inspiration."

"Lemons into lemonade?" the young man says, laughing softly.

"No," the older man says. "If everyone tried following their bliss everyone would be trying to get to the same place at the same time. It'd be a traffic jam. But since no one likes going into the negative there's more room for opportunity – less competition, less traffic."

"I think I see what you're talking about," the younger man says.

.

i found this on some random person's blog, and i kinda liked it. i like it when you can take the seemingly negative things and turn them into positive things. what can i say, i'm an optimist. i look for the good, the silver lining. it's what i do.