Worrying

ok there is just stuff bugging me right now that i need to get out, because this is driving me nuts and i have no one to talk to right now.

well i suppose my question is: is it wrong to be the designated driver for friends? is it bad to go to parties, purposefully not drinking, but going just for the purpose of being the DD?

someone very close to me is doing this again this weekend, and i have to be honest--i don't like it. it happened last year, and i worried so much. and i know that on saturday night, i will be up late into the night wondering what is going on and praying until i can't pray anymore that they are all safe and nothing goes wrong. they're taking the precautions, it was right of them to choose the DD, but why put yourself in the situation, whether you are the partier or the DD...i don't like it. it makes me nervous. and i worry for the DD. not that they'll drink. not that people will try to get on them. not that they'll do something stupid. i don't know why i worry. but i do.

call me crazy, say it's irrational, tell me there's no need to worry...i don't care what you say. i worry, and i don't know how to stop.

Waiting for Mason...

and while i wait, i will take the short and limited time that i have to blog. because otherwise, you might never hear from me ever again. well, at least not this week. i'm so busy! it's insane! ok let's talk about all the things katelynn has to do.

1. well of course there is school, which takes up half my waking hours...plus homework. which generally, i guess i can't complain, because i don't get that much. but still. so we'll average...9 hours or so of school. maybe 8.
2. basketball. which takes up about 2 hours of my every day. plus this thursday/friday we are in the mount royal tipoff classic, a senior tournament. cross your fingers we don't completely die.
3. extracurricular. this would include violin, AWANA, youth...a couple hours almost every day. well, tuesdays, wednesdays, fridays. but that's still quite a bit of time.
4. any social life that i can possibly fit in. which, right now, isn't a lot. it really isn't. not gonna lie, it is suffering.

oh who am i kidding, ALL areas of my life are suffering right now! school? well, some of it ain't so great. (don't ask about my last math test...although the bio test was good!) basketball? it's alright, although tomorrow is my first game and i'm ...a lot nervous! extracurricular? well, violin is definately on the losing end of things, don't have a good feeling about tomorrow's lesson. AWANA is fine, although i can't be there next week what a shame. youth? well, i wasn't there last week, probably won't be there this week, and then i will miss two MORE weeks, which means i'll be back just in time for the christmas banquet. joy oh joy. you're all going to hate me now. and my social life? well good thing i see a big chunk of friends at school, otherwise a) i would be a hermit and a social outcast and b) all my friends would hate me. as it is only about half of you probably complain that you haven't seen me. well book now, if you want a spot!

Home Sick

i don't mean i'm sick for my home, i mean i am at home, being sick.

yuck.

i hate being sick. but that's how i woke up this morning. i just have this awful tummy ache! so i took the day off from school. which is really odd, because i NEVER stay home sick. never never never. and it wasn't really my idea. i mean i thought of staying home, but i was like no, i need to go to school...and plus if i wanted to go out tonight i should probably be able to go out during the day! but then my mom suggested i just take the day off and stay home, and that's what i ended up doing because i just feel horrible. just yucky all around. it's so gross, actually. but i won't go into all the details, i don't want to gross anyone out.

the one perk to being home all day is that there is a what not to wear marathon on ALL DAY LONG! so while i am sick i can sit and watch what not to wear. wonderful!

anyways, back to the couch.

Ode to Fish & Chips

oh fish and chips
how i long for you
i tasted you once and never again will i eat
fish or chips
the same way.
i savour your taste
fried in grease it may be
but to my taste buds
it is heaven.
oh fish, i dip you in your best friend
who goes by the name
tartar sauce.
the taste of the two of you
together
is like a beautiful dance
or a song in perfect harmony.
and chips, you too
have a dance partner,
who dresses in red and goes by the name
ketchup.
oh fish and chips,
how i long for you.
and i wait for the day,
when we three shall meet again.
fish with the partner of tartar sauce,
chips with the partner of ketchup,
and me with the partner of money.
oh i wait for the day
when the three pairs
will meet again
and begin, once again,
to dance.

Out in the Open

thought i should get this out in the open, just for anyone who doesn't know. and also because i know the people reading this blog will pray for me, and i really need that prayer over the next few days.
ok. i told mike that i wanted to be baptized this sunday. sooo....yeah. i'm scared.

It's a little early!

but i did promise caitlin i would help her with filming her speech, and it's not my fault she chose 9am...but it is my fault that i only got about seven hour sof sleep. oh well. i'm young, i'll bounce back. right?

but i'm actually looking forward to today. helping caitlin out for a bit, then chilling with keith and getting fish and chips for lunch--

pause here.

I LOVE FISH AND CHIPS!!!!

i think once i've eaten my fish and chips i will have a special blog post all about them.

now back to my day.

--and then i'm just chilling with keith i think...maybe going to carrie's birthday party to help steph out, but keith wasn't too keen on my leaving him for the afternoon. so we'll see.

on another note, my back is so tense! even i can feel it, and usually i can't feel it. but my muscles are sore, and they hurt. anyone want to give me a massage???

but i better go sit by the door, caitlin will be here soon.

It's way too late to still be up...

once again, i am sititng here, doing nothing.
but for once i actually want to be posting, i want to be updating this blog, i want it to have life.

but once again, i'm not quite sure what to say.

it is late, and yet i don't want to sleep. i do because i have to get up in a few hours...but on the other hand i want to talk, i want to discuss, i want to question. it is that time of night when i mull over things, and this makes me ask questions. partially because of the topics i was talking about tonight. i talked with carly and keith for the past hour and a bit.

ok, they did most of the talking. i mostly listened.

and they were talking about people they went to elementary school with, and where they are now in life.

and it made me think a couple of things.

one, that keith was very different in elementary and there's a whole bunch of things that i kinda knew but didn't really know the whole story. and how he was a bit of a player back then.

two, it made me think about where the people i went to elementary school are. and i have a big urge to find the graduating list of students and go through the list with someone and wonder where they are now, and to laugh about the memories that those names bring back. because i have years of history with those people, and there are memories i'm sure that are hiding, just waiting for someone to say the right word and call them out of their dark corner of my mind.

but now i suppose i should be off to bed, where i will wonder more until sleep overtakes my me, and dreams consume my mind. and maybe, if i'm lucky, i will dream of old memories.

I don't even want to be doing this right now

and yet i am posting. what is the point in this? i have no reason to post, and no want to post in the first place...
and yet i am here.

well i am thinking about whether i want to go out tonight or not...originally i was just going to stay home with keith and watch a movie but then kenton called him and invited him to go bowling and the invitation was extended to me, and now it is up to me to decide whether we bowl or watch a movie. and while it's a movie that i really want to see, we can watch it in a couple days. and i do like bowling. but i'm just not sure if i'm in a people mood tonight. honestly, i'm kinda sleepy actually. i just want to go lay down and have a nap. i am content with being silent, and i know that if i go out i will either have to talk and make myself seem happy, or be silent and suffer the questions and looks.

i think i'll just go have a nap.

<3

I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me.

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

someone who would sing to me at random moments.

who would let me sleep on their chest.

a boy who would get mad at someone if they called me ugly or was mean to me.

i want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

someone who would just let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything i said.

he would throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb and then kiss me a million times.

someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

he would take me to the park and put his arms around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time.

he would tell his friends about me all the time and smile when he did it.

and we'd make out in the pouring rain.

he would never be afraid to say "i love you".

and we'd argue about silly little things and then make up.

i want a boy that would kiss me at midnight on new years and count stars with me.

who would stay at home with me on a friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

someone who would tell me i'm beautiful, but not too often.

who would make me laugh like no one else could.

but mostly i just want someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart..

Help My Blog Not Be Boring!

my blog is so boring. so would someone please leave a comment and give me something to talk about? give me a situation, a scenario, a quote or verse to meditate on, ask a question...something!

please?