Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Well well well...

So I guess the good thing is that Kellen never ended up leaving. His grandpa came over and yelled at his dad and said he couldn't go to Toronto, so I guess it all worked out. But just for the update, he was mad at me for like 5 days, and I'm not really sure why...it didn't really make sense. But then toda he said that it was all good, that he wasn't mad anymore. I'm not gonna question it yet, because I don't know what to say. And maybe this time is just one of those times when you drop it and don't say anything.

However, Kellen was seriously depressed or something...I'm not exactly sure, 'cause he like just started talking to me again today. But it was just so wierd. Because he wasn't talking to me, I couldn't just go up to him and ask him what was wrong. Well, okay, I tried that, but it didn't work. So I just left it, observed, and talked to other people. I didn't find anything out, really, but he just seemed so upset...it was so hard to see him like that, to see him hurting, and knowing that I couldn't reach him. But I think maybe it helped him a bit, not having me there for a few days. I mean, he knew that he could still come to me, I had made that clear. But he had made it very clear that I had somehow hurt him or broken something, and I wasn't sure what I had done.

But, thankfully, all that is over now. Things are better. Although I still want to know what I did...

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone, Everyone you looks so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself

lyrics from Stars by Switchfoot

This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...hold on

lyrics from Hold On by Good Charlotte

1 comment:

ricky4579 said...

its hard to know what to do for someone with serious depression problems (like evan and kellen)...i guess all there is to do is pray, hold on, and hope for the best...