Saturday, April 29, 2006


well things are going better because god has definately lifted this beast from me!! this last i have just felt so relieved and at peace...i am now able to talk to my ex and actually have a good and meaningful conversation!! praise be to god who lifted this from my shoulders and mind!! THANK YOU GOD!!!

anyways i had an awesome weekend hanging with my girl "duckie" a weekend of laughs. thanks for that doll!!

so today i went to this conference (girls journey of faith) with my gracie, and it was so cool!! i seen my old teacher who i discovered was a christian, which was pretty darn cool. and also i was just challenged a lot to go deeper in my walk with god and to really search for him and, in a sense, myself. and just to get deeper in my faith and more grounded in my morals. which was really good. i needed that. and on friday, at youth (which i totally love and is like one of the best things in my life!!) we were talking about spiritual fullness and it was good cuz i actually got stuff out of it (it was deep enough for me!! haha) and i really had a good little chat and prayer with god. and i wrote it down so i will remember! yay me! anyways another awesome thing about friday was that i had brought my friend caitlin (not a christian--but i am praying for her hard core!!) and yeah so it was a worship night, and i was kinda worried that she might feel a bit out of place or whatever. but she still wanted to come and all so that was good, she's at least open to the god idea. so we were singing songs (ben's band was there--awesomeness!!), and i just decided that it wasn't worth it for me to worry about caitlin, so i just gave it to god and sang with my heart and soul--i put it all in for god. and i think maybe that had some effect on caitlin. cuz i was just laughing, and singing, and just worshiping god, and i think she saw that and wanted what i had--that freedom. so then after that when we did the quiet-time-self-search thing (as i explained before) we all went off and did our thing, including caitlin. then afterwards caitlin and grace and steph and me got together in a little group and just kinda talked about the questions. and i was the un-official leader of the group, which i didn't mind cuz i have been praying for god to use me and give me opportunities where i can share and pray out loud and get more comfortable with being open in my faith. and let me tell you, god answers prayers!! cuz i got to lead this little group for like 10 mintues (good starting time!!) and then i just said let's pray and we opened it up and grace started and then steph prayed and caitlin prayed (i think a bit out of peer pressure but hey! she was praying!) and then i wound it all down and man god musta been at work with these girls cuz i had caitlin tearing up and grace and steph very thank you god! like i said...PRAISE BE TO HIM!!

(verse 1)
I stand before You, Lord
And give You all my praise
Your love is all I need
Jesus, You're all I need

(verse 2)
My life belongs to You
You gave Your life for me
Your grace is all I need
Jesus, You're all I need

(pre chorus)
Hold me in Your arms
Never let me go
I wanna spend eternity with You

And now that You're near
Everything is different
Everything's so different, Lord
And I know I'm not the same
My life You've changed
And I wanna be with You
I wanna be with You

(lyrics from "Now that You're Near")

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