Thursday, December 01, 2005

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back...Now Where???

well well well...
why does it always seem that I'm so confused??? And I really don't like being confused!!!! grr!!!

Once again, this post is about Kellen. wow I have no life. all I talk about is Kellen!! Kellen this, Kellen that...but I don't like him!! Don't get that wrong...because a lot of people are saying that I do, but I don't. At least not right now. I know it.

In fact, Kellen is actually starting to get on my nerves a bit. Now, I would never hurt Kellen, I mean, he's my friend, and I love him. But seriously, he has a really twisted way of...I don't know how to explain it...a twisted way of...doing thigs, shall we say.

For example, I say one thing, ONE THING, and he can get all mad about it.
If I say the wrong thing.
If I say it with the wrong tone of voice.
If I say it sarcastically.
If I don't say it sarcastically.
Or if I sometimes even just talk to another guy. I mean, it's out of control!! And he has no right to be saying who I should be talking to, or to make fun of me for talking to someone. Or to say that I like a person just because I say hi. All of which he does. And it's not like he and I are going out or anything!! Because we're not!!!

And then he goes into the whole "you hate me, you don't like me, you say you love me but you don't..." kind of stuff, which makes me feel bad. So I say "of course I love you, I don't hate you..." but he never believes me...or does he???

It's like he's getting me to chase him...and I'm so sick of it!!
I don't want to lose Kellen as a friend, but I cannot live like this!! I feel (at times) as if he is controlling my life!! This needs to stop...
I want to be friends, but not if this is "friends".

Now I just have to explain this to Kellen...

Oh won't this be fun...
...exciting...
...scary...

I can just tell right now that he is going to take this the wrong way...

Maybe I shouldn't say anything...

Or should I???

1 comment:

ricky4579 said...

maybe this is old fashioned, but i dont think girls should chase after guys. If Kellen really likes you, then he should be pursuing you and treating you with respect, not blowing up at anything that you say that isn't what he wantd to hear at the moment.