Minot

home again, home again, after a fun-filled weekend in minot, north dakota.
not really much to say about it.
swam a bit. went down a cool waterslide. that was fun. sat in the hot tub. also enjoyable.
shopped a LOT. there were a lot of awesome sales on. so i got quite a bit of stuff for really cheap prices. quite happy with my purchases.

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sometimes i just feel like everything is falling in around me. it's like i have this perfect little world, my own world, my bubble. doses of reality, but never a full submersion into reality.

is that bad?

but i like my own little world. i am safe there.

but it's very strange to have my perfect little world, but to have things going on in reality, in other peoples lives, and to think "that could happen to me". but for some reason, it doesn't. i am blessed, lucky in that way. there are so many things that i see people dealing with, that i help people deal with, that i have never experienced in my own life.

so am i being favored, am i lucky, is it good?
or am i being babied, cheated, missing experiences that will shape my life? that will give me the expereience to deal with other things in life?

i am conflicted. there are thoughts running around in my head that i don't know what to think about. it's like a merry-go-round that has sped out of control. i see the same things, flashing before me again and again and again. but they won't slow down enough for me to get on a figure them out.

.

in some ways, i hate going away. i miss too much. and getting caught up is oh-so-difficult.