Tuesday, May 09, 2006

One Down, One To Go

ok. so for anyone who is really curious about my life and really wants to keep up with it, this blog is the thing to read!

seriously though, if you are really interested in how my life has changed since my last post (yesterday) then read on...

ok. so i talked to some people about sean, and sean and i talked. and he never meant for that to happen, like, for the whole "going for morgan through katelynn" thing. whew! it was such a relief for me to hear that! i had never thought sean would be a person to do that...im so glad that he's not like that. he really is a great guy.
now, because of all this, sean is not gonna ask me out. because he was thinking about it or whatever, it leaked to like one person, and all this crap went down. so he's calling the whole thing off because life goes wierd when people try to ask me out. ha. funny.
i have mixed feelings about that. in some ways, i had kinda wanted sean to ask me out--just for the thrill of it. besides, sean is a great guy, a guy with lots of great qualities. he'd be an awesome boyfriend. besides, i had liked him earlier in the year, and it was only because of recent issues that i didn't like him now. exactly. but you know, when you find out someone likes you, you sometimes just can't help but liking them...yeah it's confusing i know.
but at the same time, i am glad that he didn't ask me out. im really glad we sorted this all out...but i think it's a good thing that he didn't end up asking me out. because i would have had to say no. i just knew it wasn't a good time...i promised myself (and people are holding me accountable to this) that i wouldn't date again until i was 16--the age my parents have set as a rule (im still trying to change it haha). and plus...as hard as it is to say again...i really want a chrisitan guy. im not limiting myself...but definately going for christian guys first. because they understand...at least, most do. and i think in the end it would be better that way.
GOD's got a guy all picked out for me...i just wish i knew who he was!!

so my other problem...a new one that started today. well actually maybe it started a long time ago...i don't know. let's see if i can try to figure this out...

steph, kayla, caitlin and i have all been close friends since grade 5. we've been through a lot together, and im pretty sure that nothing will break us four apart. but...
everyone says that high school is all about making new friends and having the time of your life, right? i agree with that. all four of us do. and we've all made other close friends...except for caitlin. oh yeah sure, she's got friends, im not saying she's a loser, cuz she's definately not! but she hasn't made the close friends like the rest of us have. which isn't good...sometimes i get the impression that we're all she has. but that's off topic.
so late last week, steph and i had decided to go out for lunch today with some of our youth friends. caitlin and kayla, being out of drivers ed for a little while, were just gonna hang out. apparently they had plans to go to the mall or something. i never knew about those plans. and apparently neither did kayla, because she made plans to go out for lunch with a guy (kelly if you want to know his name). maybe caitlin just assumed we were all going to the mall, maybe we all just forgot, i don't know.
anways, today at break caitlin asks kayla if we're going to the mall for lunch. and kayla says that steph and i were going with youth friends and she was going out with kelly. and cait asks if she can go with kayla and kelly, but kayla says that they just want to be alone. (it would be really awkward if cait went because kayla and kelly are pretty much going out and caitlin likes him...whole other story). so yeah we all go our seperate ways. and when i come back from lunch, i hear that caitlin just totally broke down at lunch and started bawling and that some of the guys were trying to comfort her and that she was sick and tired of being ditched all the time.
now, as usual, i have mixed feelings about this. on the one hand, i think that yes, we were sort of mean, and that we should have planned our schedules better so that we weren't all leaving her. or somehow incorperated her into our plans. on the other hand, i think she over-reacted--crying is a bit extreme. now, we've always kinda had problems with ditching caitlin (mostly accidental) or she just feels alone. but it takes her a long, long time to tell us--if she ever does. usually we find out though other people or clue in ourselves. and i know it must sound like we're totally un-sensitive and can't even pick up on our friend's feelings--but caitlin is a master of hiding what she truly thinks!
so basically i think that kayla, steph and i should be more considerate, and that caitlin should be more open with us about what we do that bugs her--she's allowed to freak on us!! i don't think it will break us up. we've endured fights before. no biggie. i also kinda think she should make some other friends...but that's not for me to determine. so im just gonna leave it at that.

whew! glad that's all out. it was a rough day!

1 comment:

grace said...

woah katie! sounds like a rough couple of days for u.. but u know im always here for you and ill always love you!Im proud of you for doing the right thing and being so strong!! <3