Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Change


there is change in the air.
i can feel it.
it's everywhere i look.
and as much as i tried to deny it,
it is in me.
perhaps mainly in me.
i notice the change in others
faster than i notice it in myself.
i blame others for their changes
when it is my change that causes
problems.
my observations of others are
unfair,
perhaps even
judgemental.
i am hard on those
i love most
and keep the blame off
myself.
when all these problems
that have come about
have not
spontaneously generated
but most likely caused
by my own
change.
i search for how i have changed,
and still for how others have changed.
i search for how those changes,
in me and in others,
collide.
i search for the source of the problems,
and can only find change
to blame.
i search to fix
the problems that change has caused
but find myself shying away
from hurting others.
i do not want confrontation
again.
i want to change
how this is.
i want to fix
the problem.
but how do you find a solution
when you don't know the source of the problem?
and so i fear
that i must
yet again
change.

5 comments:

gracie said...

wow...

enji said...

you should stop being so elusive so that those people who don't see you everyday can understand what you're going through...

enji said...

you made me curious...

Erika said...

well, you know, like a very wise woman once told me, "change changes things". haha.

katelynn said...

hey! that was me!
you think i'm wise?? lol