Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Fighting a Losing Battle


Meaningful what to do, what to do...how do you reach out and tell someone that it's not working? how do you tell them that their priorities seem to be in the wrong place? how do you tell them that they broke a promise? how do you tell them that something needs to change? how do you tell them that you are hurting, and that it's their fault?

life is all about change, about growing up, about adapting, about making friends, maybe losing friends...but i don't want to lose friends! and i don't think that this one needs to go.

but something needs to change...because something is not right. but how do i bring this to light? i don't want this to blow up in anyone's face, but is that the only way? it's a big thing, and it's going to take a lot of care and attention to fix. are we ready to commit to that?

and on top of all that, i've been getting these tugs at my heart...these emotions that swell up within me...i feel like GOD is talking to me...but i have no idea what he's saying! i'm so inexperienced about feeling him, about listening to his voice...how do i know that this is real? and how do i figure out what he is saying to me?

FATHER I THINK THESE TUGS ARE YOU...WHAT ELSE COULD THEY BE? I'VE ONLY FELT LIKE THIS A COUPLE TIMES BEFORE, AND THOSE TIMES IT WAS YOU...
JESUS I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME! I AM STILL, I AM WAITING, AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD...BUT IT DOESN'T ALWAYS MAKE THE WAIT ANY EASIER. I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER GOD, BECAUSE MAYBE IT WILL HELP THIS SITUATION, AND OTHER PEOPLE. THERE MUST BE AN ANSWER TO THIS, CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME?
SO I'M SITTING, AND I'M WAITING...
I AM STILL. I AM LISTENING.
PLEASE SPEAK TO ME FATHER...I WANT TO KNOW YOU, I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE...AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO TELL ME.
PLEASE GIVE US THE ANSWER...

2 comments:

.into.the.rush. said...

aimp&hearts.

steph said...

i kno hunn... i'll be praying